The Ascent

Six Months Earlier…

Wanting, no, needing to climb out.
I couldn’t. It wouldn’t let me.
The ravine, breathing became shallower.
As it pushed me from the bottom, to the surface,

The pain where my ribs were was so excruciating.
Feeling deboned as the ache traveled,
No shot through my mid-section.
The laughter, gone.
Into darkness.

From that darkness a hum, part mesmerizing, part annoying.
The sound of a computer, my computer.
Under heavy load. It vibrated profusely.

I dragged my hands towards it, through the dirt.
Dirt that was dry, not damp like before.
Brittle in my hands, dusty.
Like dry, burned.
Charcoal. Dried out and sharp.

The colors of fall appeared in the cracks.

Not one tree.
Just the colors.
Bright orange.
Blinding yellow.
Bruised browns.
They bled out of the stone like a printer error.

Reaching for orange. It changed to red as my hand touched it.
I expected desert heat, but it was cool.
My fingers felt, smooth and cold.
Not cold, but cooler than the surrounding temperatures.

It was plastic, maybe rubber.
Same material from that mask.
I looked at it, squinting.
Dust in my eyes.

The Reflection Loop sign, wasn’t splintered. It wasn’t even a board anymore.
A digital overlay.
Flickering at f/2.8 in the corner of my eye.

With the last of my strength.
I stood up.
My balance leaning towards the left, then the right.
I caught myself on a wall, but it wasnt a wall.
It was ground.
The world leaned sideways again.

The ravine walls looked more like polygons than rock.
Polygons that felt like rock. Hurt like rock.
Looking like a map that wasn’t finished rendering.

I found a lens cap partially buried in the silt.
I couln’t pick it up. I knew.
I coughed. What was written on the inside.

f/0.0 - shutter stuck.

The earth, now red, starting to transition.
Changing to a manicured green.
Granite headstones rose from the digital haze.

I was barely clothed, my jacket feeling thinner.
Erasing.
One thread at a time.

I moved. Not by my own strenght.
I had my camera now.
Canon, heavy and real.
Moving toward the stone.

I looked through the viewfinder.
The colors weren't green.
No red, no orange.
Just black, everything black.